Why I need heavy painkillers and a long vacation.

Let's talk about today.

First, I stumbled out of bed 20 minutes later than the original plan. Strike one.

Of course it was raining and I failed to grab an umbrella. I realized I should have gotten one as soon as I walked outside but, having already locked the door and already running late, I just gritted my teeth and dealt with it.

I met with my professor after my health programming class. He informed me that there really is no job market that he can find for sociology majors and in order for him to help me (which is amazingly nice of him since I'm only a minor in his discipline) I need to go beat down the doors of my sociology professors and ask where the jobs are. If they can't answer me, I'm in trouble. If they can answer me, I'm in slightly less trouble. If I go to school for two more years and major in health promotion (which I don't want to do) I'll get a job with no problem! I graduate in May. Strike two.

At two I got out of class and came straight home, cold and wet. I made a pot of coffee. I went to get the creamer out of the refrigerator. I bend down to get it and I hit my head on the freezer when I stood up. Headache, dizziness, trouble focusing...best time ever. Strike three.

Now you'd think it would all be over at this point. I'd strike out and get to sit the bench. But that's just not the way my life works.

A smart person would have called a doctor about the head situation, or even just gone to lie down for awhile before work. Instead, I caught my apartment on fire. Yes, that's right. On fire. No need for details, really...there was a stove, some popcorn, and a slight explosion. I put the fire out semi-immediately but not before the entire apartment filled with smoke, which subsequently permeated the entire second floor and set off the building alarms. My roommate and I opened all the windows and doors in hopes of not attracting too much attention. The guys upstairs said "hey...was there like a fire or something?" (no we just like to periodically smoke out our apartment.) The firefighters said we were great at quick acting. The police left after finding out no one was injured or dead. The landlord said we should stop being so smoking hot.

And let's add a cherry to this sundae of a day, shall we? After changing into clothing that didn't smell like a barbecue I proceeded to grab my work stuff and made it to Checkrow only half an hour late. An hour into work, the internet went down. I brought three hours worth of work home with me.

So...let's review. Late. Rain. No jobs. Blunt trauma by freezer. Involuntary bonfire. Homework not affiliated with school in any way.

The moral of this story is: When you wake up late, just go back to bed.